remember that i love you

I'm Katelyn and I'm recovering
I do not promote self harm its a disgusting addiction that I wish upon nobody


Anonymous: Are you okay

no I’m not I have fake friends and i live in a shitty ass town and I do dumb shit and I can’t help but fall for shitty guys and my life is just shitty right now actually no not even just right now it’s been shitty for over three years I just wanna cut wow

I don’t wanna feel your fingertips on my body anymore I wanna smoke to forget about you I want warm weather I want the sun to burn my skin I want it to hurt I want to run but at the same time I want to sit in bed all day and cry I want to shoot bad things into my arms but I want to be gentle and clean I don’t want to throw myself away but at the same time I do I wanna be able to care about nothing it’s scary that I think about killing myself everyday but at least I’m 43 days away from being one year clean it just doesn’t feel right i feel like I don’t deserve this I don’t deserve to say I’m so close because I haven’t tried I’ve cried for days straight I wasn’t strong I’m not strong I’m the weakest person I know I want to fucking shoot myself I want to slice my arm open I WANT TO FEEL SOME KIND OF SOMETHING IM SO TIRED OF FEELING LIKE THIS WHATEVER “THIS” IS I DONT WANT TO FEEL IT ANYMORE IM T R A P P E D